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No support system

 It has been 2 months. I tried my very best to move on. But with the lockdown in place, it cut off access to my friends & support system. I am struggling to deal with guilt.  Unfortunately, I cannot meet my friends in person.  My friends have been trying to help me via video call... cheering me up and giving a lot of emotional supports.   But can video call cure my anxiety?  Like, can video call cure cancer without surgery? Black magis. I truly regretted for bad mouthing and cursing SW with all that black magic stuff. Why did I curse him to fall sick and suffer with bad luck for many years? Maybe it's not happening now. But later how?  Why do I always like that?  As Kelvin said, how many more people do you need to fall as a victim?  How many more is enough?  How many more people need to suffer because of me?  How many more people need to suffer from my curse and magis? How much more pain?  How many more people like our ex T...
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Seldom

 I know lately I am over thinking about being alone at home.  I wait for SW everynight to call me but perhaps he is busy socialising and meeting friends. I actually dont mind but at least, can share with me a little about your daily activity? You know I got anxiety alone at home? I am not complaining. But I already told you right?  But you keep saying I am stealing your time and complaint you don't spend enough time with me.  okok.. try to calm down. I am just scared because RL left me always at home and in the end, he is seeing other new guy.  I don't mind if you want to dump me later on 5/5/2021. Because if its make you happy and I am not suitable for you, I understand.
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Misunderstanding

I feel guilty about today. I think I have made SW feeling sad about what happened today. I was angry and upset because he conveniently cancel our dinner plan and says he got dinner at home. I don't know why I suddenly left him doing the SPA foot alone - at IPC.   Maybe I kinda of angry that time because I just spent few hundreds for the shoe, and SW say cannot spend time dinner with me? I went to mid valley and do the spa thingy with my friends SL & JL instead. Thinking ... why did I left SW alone there...  aiyo suddenly feel guilty. I want to go and shave my hair tomorrow. I already promised myself not to get angry.
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Hi!

Hi! I met SW today and I kind of enjoy our meet up.  SW is gentle and very kind person.  I actually like SW. He has that very boyish look yet manly type kind of guy.  I think, SW must be the one sent by heaven to heal me. Since RL left me, I have been going to THK Temple almost every night. Perhaps, this is the answer to my daily prayer and seek true love. Suddenly, I feel better and the night doesn't feel lonely anymore.  Note.  SW = the person I am dating currently. RL = My ex
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